Last night I dreamt my uncle, then my father. They are becoming old, so am I. I remember, in my dream, my uncle talked in a manner of a real old man, resembling his younger life being as a fisherman.
‘If I fished a big fish, that’s awesome. If an oil-fish,’ he grunted, ‘I would sell it in the market. ’ ‘Oil-fish’ is a term coined by my uncle, which refers to the fish being contemplated by the oil-drillers.
My father was preparing food, in that dream. It seemed like we would have a celebration for event, a traditional festival, a banquet, or some body’s birthday? Oh, no, no birthday. In our family we never celebrate birthday. What’s in a birthday except for the burning pains to mothers?
Mother was not in that dream. I often dreamt her separately. She once had a mother, but died unnaturally, which had haunted her for many years, I believe.
My uncle is only 10 years older than me. So I’d like to address him Little Uncle. He’s a brilliant man with a clumsy tongue. This mixture has proved Heaven is fair, as grandma always said before or after a long sigh.
‘Heaven is fair, little boy.’ Grandma took my small hand, signed, ‘You’re clever, so Heaven made you fat.’
What? Fat! No! That’s the only word I hate to hear, even nowadays. ‘Granny, I’m not fat. I’m just having too much meat.’
Meat is grandpa’s favorite, any meat. The last meal he cooked for me was chicken meat, in that bleeding winter, with the stomach cancer he suffered. I was a prodigal son, and still am because of his funeral I didn’t attend. Where was I in that summer? I stayed in the city of my university. Maybe the moment he died, I am holding a few fingers of a girl whose mother was my sister in church. Their names are long forgotten in my mind.
To my knowledge, grandma in Heaven, sometimes, Heaven is not so fair.
David Menasche 是迈阿密一所中学的英语语文老师,他热情坦诚、平等对人。从莎士比亚到凯鲁雅克,他从伟大的文学作品中汲取生存的智慧,并且润物细无声地影响着学生。在不幸被诊断出脑瘤,并且做了两次开颅手术之后,他依然顽强乐观地教学、生活,直到六年之后,病情恶化,他几乎半身不遂,视力也几乎丧失。他做出一个令所有人吃惊的决定,放弃治疗,只身周游美国,去拜访他的学生,学习生命中最后也是最重要的一课。